Max

My Max is gone. He was with us from May 9, 2006 to April 30, 2021. What a beautiful gift from above. Here are his ashes and his final paw print. Oh the lessons learned from our dear Max. My first real pet, my guys first pet. My youngest was six when we got him, Eldest was 11. I was, well, younger than I am now. A recently divorced mother, first time single home owner. He made us better humans, taught us about unconditional love, oh the stories we have….

Never have I ever had to make the decision to put any animal down. This was the hardest decision I believe I have ever had to make. I circled it for sometime (maybe a bit to long) until it was apparent his quality of life was no more. I had begun a course called Bright Line Grit where I learned to examine the different parts of me, enabling me to lovingly embrace the part of me that protects me from harm. In this examination I saw how letting go of Max was good for him and I would be ok.

When making the decision to euthanize Max I found a mobile vet who would come to our home, allowing us to say our goodbyes there. While painful, it was best. Both guys came home, Max was surrounded by love. These wonderful humans laid on the floor beside him, held his paws and when he took his final breath, he knew he was loved. This was our first time with death up close. I will never forget that final inhalation and exhalation, while peaceful, the finality of it was palable. Letting go sucks, knowing we will see him again is our hope.

Gus

I thought I would never want another dog, when Max’s ashes were delivered and Cam (grandpup, Max’s buddy) visited for the weekend, I knew it was time. The house was so quiet, boys are grown, Max is gone.. Coming home after work was just hard. After many conversations with my guys and God, it was time. Max had taught me to love, filled our house with joy and I felt the nudge to visit the Humane Society.

So I visted the site and talked to God. On Tuesday when it opened over lunch I looked at site and put my name on list. Whispering a prayer, “Your will be done, if it is meant to be it will be.” I had work, oil change and was not free until 5:40pm. If I was invited in I would know it was a sign.

At exactly 5:40 I got a text saying to head to the Humane society I was sixth in line. They closed at 7:00. So I called my eldest and we headed that way. When I got there I walked through and found “Hot Tamale” oh he was a love. Those eyes, paws called to me. Someone else had claimed him, but I was in love. So I thought well God, “Your will be done.” I met with the adoption counselor, right before I met the couple who were interested in Hot Tamale. They had waited six hours at the shelter and had put their dog of fourteen years down the day before. They were a mess, I could relate. I listened to their story, told them I was in love with Hot Tamale too. My counselor put my name behind theirs, “just in case.”

Long story short. He came home with me, one week ago today. While he is a Hot Tamale, I call him Gus. He answers and it seems more him….

Wrote this when Max was younger. Read it from the top to bottom then bottom to top. Dog is God spelled backwards as one of my students told me as he prayed daily for a dog.

DOG

Loves Unconditionally

Rejoices in me

Waits for me

Rests with me

Walks with me

Listens to my every word

Knows my heartbeat

My best friend

Companion

GOD

Thanks God. My heart if full!