Gus wakes me on my first day of Thanksgiving break. The first inclination is resentment of the sleep intrusion. I choose joy. Holding a warm cup of Java I join him on the back stoop. He sits, I stand. He lifts his snout to the sun. I lift my chin to the heavens, close my eyes, inhale, exhale…
As I gaze at the morning dawn, enjoy the cool, crisp breeze, watch leaves dance, spin in the wind. God whispers to my soul…
May there be peace within.
May we trust that we are exactly where we are meant to be.
May we use our gifts received, pass on the love given.
May we grasp the infinite possibilities born of faith.
May we find contentment in ourselves as we are.
Let God sink into our core, release us, free us so we can sing, dance, love, thrive.
Gus wakes me on my first day of Thanksgiving break. The first inclination is resentment of the sleep intrusion. I choose joy. Holding a warm cup of Java I join him on the back stoop. He sits, I stand. He lifts his snout to the sun. I lift my chin to the heavens. Close my eyes, inhale, exhale…
As I gaze at the morning dawn, enjoy the cool, crisp breeze. Watch the leaves dance, spin in the wind. God whispers to my soul…
May there be peace within.
May we trust that we are exactly where we are meant to be.
May we use our gifts received, pass on the love given.
May we grasp the infinite possibilities born of faith.
May we find contentment in ourselves as we are.
Let God sink into our core, release us, free us so we can sing, dance, love, thrive.
While walking in the early morning poetry rolls through me. I return home to write, read or reread the works of my favorites. Today Mary Oliver’s poetry rolled through me, here are a couple of my favorites. Enjoy.
This morning
the beautiful white heron
was floating along above the water
and then into the sky of this
the one world
we all belong to
where everything
sooner or later
is part of everything else
which thought made me feel
for a little while
quite beautiful myself.
Mary Oliver
Three Things to Remember
As long as you’re dancing,
you canbreak the rules,
Sometimes breaking the rules is just
extending the rules.
Sometimes there are no rules.
Mary Oliver
Whose works speak to you? What words roll through you as you move throughout your day? May your day be filled with wonderful words, beauty and light.
Hello Bookworms and Library enthusiasts (nerds, I think my son added that,lol)
This is who I am…
I have been told there are creeps on the internet (advice from my sons 19,24, of course they know more than I do about this… ), so call me Fern. I am a literacy specialist serving students of low socio economic means in an American city school. I love, love what I do. Every day (during the school year) I work with the lowest 20% of every grade level, teaching students to read, love reading, making reading meaningful for them. I have been an educator for 20+ years. A single mother for 25 years, raising two successful young men, who yes study and use the library, finding it a safe haven for their studying/academic needs. My eldest upon graduation from college, needed to study for a final credit, took me to the library by his father’s house, went up to the librarian got the key for the study room (his study room), sent me to get a book, settled in, studying for his exam gracefully kicking me out to roam his library, finding treasures and books to read. As a mother and educator, the fact that my guys know how to access the library, find safe study spaces, rent first apartment close to the library, has brought me great joy, knowing they love, know how to access and use the library… who could ask for more?
How did my love of literacy and libraries begin?
My love for libraries began as a youngster. My parents were ministers, poor, believing that television was of the devil. My sweet mama would take us once a week to the library. She opened book and told me to read the first paragraph, if it grabbed me within that first page it was a keeper, take it and read it. I read, transported to otherworlds becoming a voracious lifelong reader. As a family we checked out the old school movie reels, forbidden treats, a movie projector these were our family nights. We also checked out games to play as a family (not as popular). As an adolescent the library was a place I would escape. My parents would allow me to go to the library, check out books and spend time unsupervised. As a divorced single young mom it was a place to take my guys. My love affair with the library has been a lifelong venture, one that has fed my soul, kept me safe when life was chaotic. A quiet place of rest and respite.
Dream in a folder….
I have been carrying around my dream in a folder, in my purse for the last few months. What next has been the question as I am coming to the end of my dissertation. Everyone asks what next? Well, my boys are raised, living for them seems a little silly. They have their lives, which has been my dream, successful happy men. Now as a single mom, literacy specialist, doctoral candidate, I am answering the question what next… I still want to be a reading specialist but adding a new dimension is the dream. Summers… Being a nerd, reading/literacy specialist, what do I love? Books, the smell of them, lives lived, so finding the article 20 most beautiful libraries in America gave me breath. I mapped it out, developed a budget (which I have blown) but it is there. Living in me, I want to visit these places, then the ultimate… London.
Today is Christmas, 2019. I am 51, drinking and playing cards with my son. I spilled my soul, dream and you know what? He wanted to see it. Read it, while I ran to the potty. He read my dream, looked at my map, asked to see my budget. He called off the game, opened his computer. Write mom, let’s plan it (his command). He thought it was cool and is on board with me making it a reality. So how? How? Well step one seems to share the dream. Next, write, write, write so I am.
Step one Share. With who? You.
Here goes….
Breath, first step, share.
Sharing in blog format…
My goal is over spring break to take the train to Chicago,spend the night, visit the Harold Washington Library Center in Chicago, ILL and begin my journey. Why? Because I can. I love books, they feed my soul. As a mom I took my sons to the library, it was free, we learned so much, books are my friends. My goal when visiting is to experience the neighborhoods surrounding the libraries, pubs, local attractions get the vibe of the locale. Libraries are the hub of the community, they offer lifelines to young families, lost souls, marginalized humanity, a place for educators and education. My people. I am that mom who got all the free coupons, used the zoo passes, museum coupons, free pizzas and funded my summers. Visiting libraries across America is my homage to a life well lived, living on a shoestring, educating my guys. It is now my turn to see how others fare in different communities in the safe space where I learned to breathe, it cost me nothing and provided me everything. Maybe traveling to libraries is a safe way to spread my wings while remaining grounded. See the world, while doing what I love. Crazy… maybe …dream… goal
And then…
Next stop William W Cook Historical Library in Ann Arbor, MI would be June, beginning of summer. It is a little farther, five hour drive. Yet with Chicago under my belt venturing to the Ann Arbor, MI location may be doable.
I would love to do an east coast trip and a west coast trip visiting…
For now, I will formally check in after Chicago. Now to plan, write, share… blog?
Cheers,
-Fern
LNBW
The World Awaits…
— not sure if someone said it, I am
Step 1 share. ✓ I am thanks for reading, please join me on this grand adventure. Even if it fails it will be fun, omg I am doing this…
This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.
The last painting I did was this one, a year ago. It is a simple flower, and I was drawn to this image in my mind’s eye. After painting I placed it in the window of my office. Moving into summer I noticed the repetition of this flower in my world. I began to notice how it has shown up repeatedly in gifts from others and finally from God as this summer began it is blooming magically by my door step. I began to wonder what is God’s message for me??
I found these meanings of chamomile:
Spiritual Meaning of Chamomile
Chamomile, with its delicate white petals and soft, golden center, is more than just a soothing plant ally; it’s a symbol of rest, healing, and the divine feminine. Even as early as Ancient Egypt, the healing properties of Chamomile were recognized for its rest-inducing properties.
As we journey through nature’s cycles, chamomile serves as a gentle reminder from the earth that rest is medicine. Its presence is akin to a whisper from a wise priestess, guiding us to find balance and tranquility in our hectic lives. This small, unassuming flower holds within its petals many spiritual meanings that have been told through the ages.
Chamomile as a Symbol of Rest
In today’s fast-paced world, chamomile serves as a beacon of rest. Its calming properties are well known, often used to soothe nerves and promote a peaceful state of mind. Chamomile can be a valuable ally in finding moments of stillness and serenity. It encourages us to pause, breathe, and reconnect with the slower, more rhythmic pace of nature.
Chamomile symbolizes peace, calmness, and gentle healing. In flower language, it represents “energy in adversity” and comfort during difficult times, making it a perfect symbol for resilience and quiet strength.
Love this so much. As I begin my summer it is perfect that this flower shows up as a gift from God. A knowing that I am right where I need to be. Resting and being this summer, following His plan for my days.
Thanks God.
Simons R.C.,(2025)
Three weeks into summer I reopened this writing and in my early morning devotions I read this devotion and did it align with my soul! I revisited the meanings above and sat in wonder. As an educator of thirty four years this is the first summer I have taken time off for the summer. When I did the above writing about the chamomile it was an investigation into why am I doing this, is it ok? Maybe an answer from above? It seems to be a theme. He is calling me to exchange my management for His mastery. Lean into Him and rest.
This passage from the Message reads:
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11: 28 – 30
Thank you precious savior. Leading me and nudging me to find You in the chaos. For showing me rest, Your rhythms. For showing up this summer in a simple white and yellow flower. As I look around my space I see His nudging and aligning of my footsteps as there are traces of this flower in the artwork on my walls, drawings and now in my devotions. Maybe it is a Chamomile, Whiplash Daisy or another flower. I hear You Jesus. I am leaning into You, Your word and listening to You as You minister to my spirit. Thank you for rest and rejuvenation.
References
Simons, R. C. (2025). The Way of the Wildflower: Gospel Meditations to Unburden Your Anxious Soul. Thomas Nelson Incorporated.
Today’s a snow day. I am enjoying my home, life and time with Jesus. January always brings one, two or a few depending on the year. I love em, always have and always will. I love being home. This morning I got a phone call from a loved one. They opened the call with how are you? I am so sorry you are alone, have to take care of your house, shoveling, so lonely… I had just finished my third cup of java, my devotion was basking in the light of my conversation with our savior, reveling in a day with only shoveling on my to do list.
I heard myself reply, “I am never alone. I have Jesus.” The demeanor of the caller and conversation went from depressed to joy in that simple statement. I meant it and they felt it. We talked for a while and when we hung up they stated, “I am so glad I called. You are full of the Holy Ghost and I feel so uplifted.” Thanks God, just thanks.
Listen, there is nothing perfect about me. I am single, divorced and I have struggled with this at times. Above are three photos of a book I carry and have carried with me since my divorce. It is full of scriptures that God has led me to in low moments. It is raggedy, worn yet a source of strength as I have written these down, embedded them in my core as I have gotten to know Him through daily conversations and reading of His word. When I got off the phone I went and got it out, reread His word. Thanking Him for the phone call, His words that flowed through me to the caller.
What I have learned from Sunday sermons, conversations with our savior, His word is that He is my husband:
Isaiah 54:5-8
For your maker is your husband. The Lord of Hosts is His name; and the Holy one of Israel is your redeemer.
I am His and He is mine. Not just mine but yours, lean into this, know Your husband. We are the bride of Christ. On work days I wake up between 4:30/5:00 am to have my morning conversation with Jesus. Today while shoveling I leaned into Him when it got heavy, “Thank You Jesus for strength to shovel, for nudging me to get out at the halfway point and get this started.” I am never, ever alone. Life isn’t challenge free yet with Him within me, filling me, walking with me, navigating the challenges is precious. When challenge is conquered I feel the mighty within me well up, filling me with a beautiful assurance that I am never, ever alone. Today the challenge was snow, each day there are different challenges, leaning in, knowing He is guiding my work, conversations, day makes each challenge, day an adventure.
Do not feel sorry for me, think I am depressed, anxious or down because I am divorced, single or alone. I am not. I am in the sweetest spot. Christ is my husband. He is mine and I am His. Joy, love, peace is mine. I am truly blessed beyond measure. I do not know that I have articulated it so bluntly as I heard myself state today. I think His spirit within me was a bit offended and set the course straight. Know that while this is my story, my writing, this is His desire for you as well. We are His bride. He is our groom. We are here living our lives in a divine relationship. Choose Him, each day, each moment, lean in, walk with Him. What an honor, joy, bliss. Lean in, whisper a prayer as you walk through your days. You are never alone!
Habit stacks complete, work complete, meeting in a few, gathering Gus we head out for our walk. Lost in thoughts, replaying my work, forgetting to get a bag for dog dodo we walk out the door. Earlier in the morning I had read the day’s devotions which were Matt 6:5-35. Reading the passage I had wept with His love filling me completely. Vs. 22, When your eye is healthy your whole body is filled with light, spoke to me as did vs. 25 This is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life… I surrendered my day to him, got on the mat for my Yoga practice.
On the mat facing east with the sunlight wrapping me in its embrace I heard His whisper, “ I am the light you crave” my heart leapt in delight. Completing my daily practice I moved to work. Completing the work, looking at the clock, right on time let’s walk Gus, we have a couple minutes.
We headed out, halfway to the corner I realized that I had forgotten the much needed bag for Gus’s dodo, having only a few minutes till my next meeting, I walked on… we turned the corner, hoping he wouldn’t have to do his business. There on the sidewalk was a grocery bag in perfect condition. Seriously, hesitantly I picked it up. It was pristine as if it had come directly from the store. “I care for you, the minute details of you, your day. I am the light you crave,” rolled through me once again. Joy flooded my being, “thanks God for Your love and care,” I whispered.
We walked on, enjoying the sunshine, breeze, and listening to the whispers within my soul. Gus did his business, two steps away from a dumpster. Seriously, I was able to scoop it up, toss it out, and move on seamlessly. The minute details lined up, precisely. Giggling to myself, heart full of gratitude, whispering, “I love you Jesus,” a love burst filling my soul. He cares for us, every detail. The words, “My soul doth magnify the Lord, my spirit rejoices in Him, my savior, light of the world” rolled through me. Life is not without challenges, facing them is so much better when leaning into the light of this world, surrendering even the smallest of details. Walking with Him each and every step of the way. How He cares for us!
Bag on the sidewalk… 🙃! Thanks God, for your love, care, reminders no matter how minute, silly they may seem.
Be well, know You are precious, loved beyond measure. Lean into Him, know He cares for you. We got this!
I did wake up laughing today. In all my years, all my dreams I have never awoken laughing. Today I did. Honestly this joy that is unspeakable is living inside. What is it? How is it possible to feel this joy within?
Unsure I begin my day. Music on, I list gratitudes, plan my day, sit in His presence (20 min of meditation, music). He whispers… Ps. 37:23, Zeph 3:17. I open His word…
Zeph 3:17
The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.
I like this one best, God. I say… go back He whispers…
Ps. 37:23
The steps of a man are established by the Lord,
when he delights in his way;
He whispers to my soul. I delight in you as you delight in your way. No matter how hard, simply delight in me. No worries, no frets. I have you. Delight in me, we got this!
I whisper back: Precious savior, Oh, my soul. I love you with all of me. I rejoice in the sunrise, wind, your whisper, fragrance, creation. I marvel in each moment, savor each day, challenge, knowing You are with me. I will delight in You, my Lord and savior. Thank you for holding my hand, guiding my steps. Filling my soul with mirth, rejoicing over me. We got this!
I will delight in You, the creator of my days, our world. Marveling at the mirth we share❣️
This song is at the end of this post with lyrics. I am putting link here for you to listen to as you read. I have woken with this rolling through me, ran with it rolling through me, safe to say it is my summer mantra. Possibly my life mantra. While life is challenging God’s goodness embraces and enfolds me daily. Here is a picture walk through some of my summer days. Enjoy…
Sitting at New Baron’s Brewing Cooperative after church on a Sunday morning with my eldest. This beauty was standing tall on the corner of 1st and Becher Street. Standing tall in the middle of the city. This is who I wish to be, beauty blooming right where I am planted, spreading joy and light. Thanks God for Your design so intriciate is Your love for us/me.
My window boxes, daily watering has brought some beautiful growth. Feel like it is a testament of my days. When I take time to nourish my soul there is growth and beauty… this summer learning to teach University classes I have been stretched, grown hoping the lessons taught will enable these beautiful souls to attain all they are striving for as they educate our city’s children. Thanks God for the lessons these flowers have given me. Growth occurs when I lean in and nourish my soul in Your presence. Thanks God.
Oh His mercies are everlasting. This path has nourished my soul so many mornings. Ps. 23 rolling through me, “He Restores my Soul”… when I take time to listen, lean in and trust Him. Even on the days that my mind is racing. He seems far then I look up, into His creation and He reminds me that He is guiding my footsteps. He is with me, one breath, whisper and has been with me every step of the way. Jesus loves me/us, what an honor, what joy. Thanks God.
By the still waters, His love dances on the waters, fills my soul, renews my spirit…His light there every step of the way…. beautiful Savior.
He holds me in the shelter of His embrace… Thanks God for this beauty, enabling me to find this hidden gem. You God have me/us in Your embrace, always and forever.
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Ps. 27:1 He is the light that guides my footsteps, enables me to press on. Oh He is a good God. Be well my friend, know you are loved, precious and He is with You every step of the way!
Outside my bedroom door, words to frame my day. Thank you Max Lucado this is where my journey began, back to Jesus.
Happiness is my choice. I have known despair. I have known heartache. I am a sinner saved by grace. I believe in Jesus, to His cross I cling. Happiness is my choice. Ten years ago I fell off a horse, broke my humerus, my arm is held together with six pins. I believe it was a heavenly nudge. As I lay in my hospital bed I promised Jesus I would return to Him. I had recently been to an art show at Mercyhill church in Bayview, Wisconsin. When I was well enough I made my way to a Sunday morning service. Sat in the back and took notes, went home and looked up every scripture, embedding Jesus into my heart.
I have laid on the floor, my heart ripped out of my chest, loss, anguish, despair coursing through my being. Contemplation of ending it all surrounded by all the pills from the medicine cabinet. Each time Jesus came, with His word. My mind and my heart filled with the words that now cover my walls. I choose Happiness, I choose Jesus.
I will not lie, life is hard. In the depths of despair He is there. Is happiness really a choice? A friend asked me this weekend. Yes, happiness is my choice. Jesus is my choice, my core, my center. Would you choose contentment or happiness my friend asked. I choose happiness, Jesus, everyday I choose Jesus the reward is both happiness and contentment. It can be yours too. To be loved by Him is pure happiness, joy and peace. When despair enters my being I rest in Him. His words. It has been a journey. In my darkest nights, lowest lows, I have learned to lean into His word. I bought canvas’s painted them then wrote His words over. Why?
I didn’t truly understand until recently. With each stroke of the brush He was healing my soul. With each written word He was sealing the cracks in my broken vessel. He loves me and in the deepest darkest nights He has walked with me. I choose happiness, I choose Jesus. Know Him, yes, life is hard. He is with You. He choose you, loves you and is one breath, one whisper away. Lean in. You are loved. He knows your name, surrender and enable Him to fill you with light, love. He is your breath.
My quest, to walk in love, each step hand in hand with Jesus. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil. Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Ps. 23. He is my rod and staff, His word a light unto my path. I am loved by Jesus, you are loved by Jesus. “Let Jesus love You,” Pastor Tommy’s mom quote. When you surrender to Him, meditate upon His words, allow Him to guide your steps, despair turns to joy. Make happiness your choice. Invite Jesus, waymaker, onto your path. He will take your hand, you will never, ever be the same.
literacyfern.com 